How to Find Your Spirit and Passion

Find Your Passion and Spirit by Completely Golden Stone Labyrinth on the Beach.jpg

What is the spirit? This question has been asked since the beginning, and I believe only you can answer it for yourself.

My spirit, or soul, is my purest self, connected to the universe. And by universe, I mean the ever expansive, undefinable ethos that exists around us. My highest self (spirit, soul, etc) is part of the infinite. Sometimes, I like to imagine myself with a point reaching high up into the sky, connecting to my highest point.

What is passion? For me, this is even harder to describe. I recently took the Fascinate Test, created by Sally Hogshead. It turns out I have Passion as my primary advantage. After reading the overview I realized how disconnected I am from my passion. She uses words like expressive, warm and intoxicating to describe passion-led people. I am trying to connect (or perhaps reconnect) to this part of me, which lead me to writing this post.

If you’re like me, you can’t compromise your happiness, at least for very long. So many times I have left jobs, apartments, and cities, all because I began to have physical reactions to the situation, or worse- I didn’t listen and something awful happened.

What happens when your spirit is sad or shaken? It can be disorienting, it can leave you feeling  lost, clingy, tired, or even sick. Here are some personal examples:

  • I worked at a bakery for a few months, enduring the insane early hours and my terrible yelling boss, until I broke out in hives all over my body and face.

  • I was living in an apartment in Harlem with a controlling roommate and had a very long commute to work every day. I kept getting pings (intuitive guidance) to leave, but would ignore them. Finally, I was mugged while entering my apartment building and I moved out the next day.

  • I was working at a deli on the Upper West Side, serving pastrami on rye and barely making enough money to pay my rent. I was on my way into work and saw my reflection in the windows of the building- I looked so sad that I literally kept walking- calling them to quit 2 minutes before my shift.

What happens when you follow your passion and work with your spirit? Alignment, joy, ease, money, coincidences, and more! It can be really hard and scary to leave a situation that is keeping you from your passion and creating disconnect from your spirit. Sometimes you have to compromise, slightly, to get things in order for a positive transition. When I was younger, I was much more impulsive- I would react before thinking about the consequences. I have to point out that I have been very blessed with a network of family and friends to support me along the way. Now that I’m older, logical transitions are just as important. #adulting

After leaving each of the above situations, something great came forward.

  • After quitting the bakery, my hives went away and I started working part-time at a local health food store. Through a customer I had befriended, I was introduced to a woman by the name of Ariella Chezar, and became her full time nanny. I found out she is a world-renowned floral designer and seven years later, we still work together executing magical weddings and events! I give her credit for igniting my passion for plant and foliage design, and teaching me how to cook ;)

  • After moving out of my Harlem apartment I found myself literally homeless, sitting on the street corner on top of a trunk of possessions, after a sublet fell through. I called my dad, whom I had not had a relationship with since I was four, and asked for help. He booked me a flight to Brazil to meet my family for the first time. I spent an incredible six months reconnecting to a part of my soul that I had never experienced.

  • And finally- after quitting the deli job, I decided to head back to the subway. I walked to the end of the block and crossed the street. I looked up and was drawn, so intensely, into a small cafe on the corner. I walked in and went straight to the back, introducing myself to a small Chinese man, and asked for a job. He was the owner and hired me on the spot. That was the first location of Peacefood Cafe, where I would go on to work for four years, assisting with the opening of their second location and ultimately opening the doorway to nutrition and wellness, something I had never experienced before.

Perhaps this is all part of connecting to your spirit and passion. A series of trial and error. I know that when I trust myself and surrender into the hands of the universe, I am taken care of. It just can be really scary and hard to let go.

I encourage you to think about these magical moments- threads if you will, that have lead you to where you are now. Remember to celebrate all you have gone through! It’s so easy to be dissatisfied with the present, especially when your spirit is sad. I promise, your spirit and your passion will feel ignited, and you will remember- you can do this.

Tell me about your threads in the comments below- what were some magic decision making moments that changed your life?

XO, tess